So it was a misunderstanding. He
wasn’t attached, but that doesn’t prove anything at all. It just goes to show
just how much he was into his ex, and still is. In all honesty, I was really
glad when I found out he wasn’t attached like, “hey, at least he isn’t taken”. Some may say, “Well,
now there’s a glimmer of hope for you!”
No. I don’t feel that at all. Just
take a look at him; he’s the kind of guy that will love you with all his heart,
the kind of guy who would give almost anything to make you happy without any second thoughts, the kind of boyfriend that your Dad wants you to have. Let’s
face it; he’s the kind of guy that every girl would want to have as a best friend,
boyfriend, lover, husband.
I honestly think that it is
shameless of me to fall for him; thinking that I would be able to match up to
him. Also, it doesn’t help that we’re pretty close to each other now. It just
seems clearer to me, each day, that all we’ll ever be is, friends. Just
friends. He says he’s trying to get over her. Just who is he kidding? It’s been
over a year now; he’s still waiting. Waiting for the day that she’ll come back
to him, even though he knows that she will never come back.
They always say, “If he’s
happy, I’m happy.” But am I, really? I’m not that selfless neither do I believe
in all that bullshit; even though I do know how far-fetched he is for someone like
me. Sure, I’d be happy as long as he is happy. But I’d be the happiest, no
doubt, if I’m the reason why he’s happy.
I’m thinking too far ahead,
aren’t I? I don’t think I’m making much sense either, ha. But then again, when
did love ever make sense; you fall so quickly, not even knowing if he will be
there to break your fall. And that
brings me to today’s happenings.
Today was a real heart
stopper; I got exposed to the one person I never wanted to let know about my
feelings. Of course it wasn’t the guy himself, but you could say it is still
pretty bad for her to know. Thank goodness for me though, that she was a
trustworthy person and that she would definitely not tell about this to anyone
else. I guess I expected it, since they are the best of friends and she knows me
pretty well too. I guess it was a sense of relief that I didn’t need to hide it
from her either, but I was pretty hesitant since it’d be so awkward.
Apparently, I worried for nothing.
She was not at all weirded out by who I like, in fact, she seemed pretty
excited about it. Ha, cute lil alien. However, the scariest thing that happened
was, he was there when she asked me upfront about who I liked. I just hope he’s
a blockhead and didn’t catch anything. It would be so awkward if he knew. I
wouldn’t know how to talk to him or face him anymore; it’d just be plain awkward. Sighh, I really do hope he didn’t catch on but if he didn’t, he’d be a real blockhead wouldn’t
he? Pfft, but then again, that'd be really cute.
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